They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
