I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
