Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
the raccoons are back...
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