Where are you?
In a non slutty way
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You're like the curious george of whores
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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