he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
