Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
