Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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