Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
