Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
