I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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