she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
