Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
