I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
