OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
