All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
last night I used snow as a chaser
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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