Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
