she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
