Sponge bath it is.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
