pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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