Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize