girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
