Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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