scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My penis needs a shock collar
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
