I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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