Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
