I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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