it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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