It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Small penises have feelings too.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
