Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
