My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
