Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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