As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
