I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
