A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
