yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
