Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
