if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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