Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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