"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
