I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
