oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
