Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
