That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
