It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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