I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
