my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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