you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
