i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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