im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
my liver is dry heaving
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
