seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
